December – Enjoying the Season

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December is always dominated by Christmas and this year was the first in many years where my family have all woken up in the same house on Christmas day. It was nice. Sad because the reason we were together was because we didn’t need to split the family between Germany and England any more but it was nice. It was quiet.

As it should be, this month has been about celebrating and spending time with friends and family. From carol singing and parties to ice skating and eating lots of cheese, December has thankfully been fairly uneventful. It also means that I’ve had a bit of time to take stock and figure a few things out ahead of the New Year.

This Christmas time, I am thankful that Jesus came to this earth so that we could have hope: hope in our earthly lives as well as hope for an eternal life on a perfect, restored earth, with no more tears, death or suffering. What complete joy.

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Dreaming at 29

I turn 30 next year and it has suddenly dawned on me why age has mattered so much to me. When I was in my teens I dreaded having a teenager myself, not because I was so unruly as a teen (I hope!) but because I thought I would be jealous of their youth and the life moments they had yet to experience.

But it has only just dawned on me that it has never been their age and experiences in and of themselves that I would be jealous of – I know and am happier with myself now than I ever have been and I don’t particular want to re-live ‘growing up’. It is the naive dreaming and the world lying in front of them and the NEW experiences that I realised I never wanted to lose. The joy in this realisation is that while you can’t stop time from passing, you CAN keep dreaming and having new experiences!

So I’m starting now. Before I even turn 30. Because it’s never too late to start dreaming again.

November reflections / December hopes

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November was a month of sadness, of deep prayer and of reflection on life as we mourned the loss of our wonderful Oma. She is with her Saviour so we are assured that she is experiencing a peace we can only imagine, so through our grief we can learn how to take what she meant to us and continue to live out her legacy.

Above all, that’s what I want to remember this Christmas month. That I have an incredible heritage of faith and love and I want that to remain a strong part of who I am.

>Reflections<

Get on top of work.  I may not have had two plane journeys but I have had time to prepare for what’s next at work. My brain is starting to untangle and that leaves me close to being able to let out the breath I’ve been holding for six months, for which I’m very thankful.

Finish my book. Many long train journeys helped me complete this and I loved the escape. I’ve even downloaded some more books as I remember how much it relaxes me to read!

Bake. I baked once, so technically achieved this. Christmas requires some kitchen adventures though so more of this to come I hope.

>Hopes<

Look up. Christmas is all around us. I want to stop watching my feet and look up, both at the crisp weather, the sparkle and the joy around me, as well as the Saviour whose birth we remember. I want to read and reflect on his birth and take time to grasp why we have the hope that we have.

Anticipate 2016. Anticipation is underrated. There is excitement, possibility, adventure and fulfilment bundled up in this package of looking ahead. It’s not always realised, but I love to plan, to think about where we’re going and walk into the New Year with my husband and my hopes aligned.

That’s it. December is about being in the moment and anticipating the joy of a New Year. I will also be considering a different way of setting myself goals that really capture things I want to change or keep on track of, for my own well-being and the contentment of those I love.

November – Rejoicing through tears

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It’s safe to say that November wasn’t what I’d anticipated. It was sad. Losing a grandparent is such a huge loss, of wisdom, of laughter, of childhood. My Oma was the best grandma I could ever have asked for and her funeral was the greatest celebration of faith and love that anyone could hope for when their earthly breath leaves them. We know she is in the presence of the Lord she served her whole life and this in turn means we can rejoice, even through our tears.

The rest of November blurs in comparison. Our family changed this month. We will miss her.

Winter wanderings

Winter WanderingsWinter is a strange season as it bridges the gap between the year’s polar opposites. While spring, summer and autumn all have a unique flavour that is usually predictable from beginning to end, winter embraces many emotions and characters. It is the only season where the mood and mindset change dramatically in the middle. At the beginning, the warmth, hope and joy of Christmas are all-consuming and they wrap up the year, offering time to reflect on the highs and lows of the past 12 months. But the season’s end welcomes in a New Year which, although cold and often marked by post-Christmas blues, is also ripe with possibility. For me, January often ends up as a strange month without any discernable purpose, so if you’re like me, here are some ways to stay in the moment through the whole of this coming winter.

  • Food & Drink: Toffee nut latte with chocolate hazelnut loaf
  • Bake: Snickerdoodles & Pflaumenkuchen
  • Places to visit: Germany
  • Play in the snow (if we get any!)
  • Do some Christmas crafts – most of mine involve Cinnamon sticks!
  • Watch lots of movies: The Holiday, Miracle on 34th Street, Muppet’s Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, Love Actually
  • Experience a Christmas market – Köln Weihnachtsmarkt is just perfect
  • Buy a calendar for the New Year
  • Start on some New Year goals – make plans for the year, book tickets to shows and search out new restaurants
  • Go to a museum – it’s low season in January so much quieter and you can take your time
  • Go to coffee shops and watch the world go by
  • Have a long hot bath with candles and a good book
  • Prepare for spring – get ahead of the game with a pre-spring clearout
  • Make the most of the slower pace of life by sipping wine (or, my preference, G&T) late into the night with friends, dreaming about what the year ahead might bring

Winter may be the odd season out, but it can still bring joy if you live it in the moment!

October reflections / November hopes

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As predicted, October wasn’t forthcoming with time off. But it was productive enough that, once work calms down, the next couple of months may be less frantic. I recognise that I constantly write about being busy and hoping for a little time to pause and recover but my life seems to run in peaks and troughs of busy. I do love the energy and cyclical nature of this type of life. Just like I love the familiarity and capricious character of the seasons. Let’s see if October afforded the meeting of some goals in there somewhere too…

>Reflections<

Go for Autumn walks in new places. We spent some time at our favourite national trust site this month and the wedding was at a beautiful autumnal estate but I didn’t get as many walks as I wanted. There was just so much planned! We’ve learned our lesson and blocked out lots of weekends next October already!

Get the flat painted (except maybe the bedrooms) and clean again! We even managed the bedrooms! It feels so good to have a home that is ‘us’. We hadn’t even realised how much we’d settled for a half way house between owning our own place but accepting wall colours, picture hook positions, kitchen styles and even furniture to some extent as though we were renting. It’s finally ours!

Be in the moment for birthdays. This we did and I was thankful for it. Family and friends are good for the soul.

>Hopes<

Get on top of work.  I’ll have two plane journeys and some evenings to plan. I want to stop feeling like I only have time to react and start stealing back some time to be pro-active. I really want this to be under control by Christmas. The peak will be over so I want to push forward to gain back some work/life balance. To do that, I need to plan.

Finish my book. It’s fairly easy going and should let my brain switch off a bit. It will also hopefully help me feel like I have a little more time to myself.

Bake. Simple goal. Just one thing. I love cake. If I can push through the work demands I should have time for this simple pleasure!

Christmas will soon be here and I want to prepare wisely so that we can enjoy every moment. That means starting now to get rid of the demands and the headaches and free up some space for life.

October – Restoring order

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October was a busy month. Work will regain a slower pace at the end of November but until then it’s full steam ahead. Somehow in between all of that, we finished the flat. Everything is painted. Furniture is bought and mostly all arrived and order has finally been restored to this household. After three years of faff, it feels SO good to look forward to coming home and for our home to be a place of refuge and relaxation again. I hope I never underestimate the importance of having a home to hide in and share with others.

We also had lunch at the Ritz, saw some unbelievable fireworks and celebrated a wedding and three birthdays. When I stop for a moment and consider all the activity of the past few weeks, it amazes me just how much can be crammed into one month. I’m looking forward to something a little less hectic soon!

Trusting in…

I’ve entered a season in my life that is completely new to me by one definition alone: I don’t know what’s next. I have always had ambitions, aims, goals and planned paths to help me get to where I wanted to go but I find myself in the slightly baffling position of having achieved what I wanted to by this age. In one sense, that is an incredible blessing but in another sense it leaves me feeling a little lost.

So I ask – what’s next? I have no defined journey to work towards and no comfort from knowing where I’m going because I’m there. I got to my destination. I had never really considered much past this point.

I’m living life without knowing: without knowing where I’m going, what’s next, how I’m going to get there or how I’m going to feel like I’m still achieving and learning new things. I’m not trusting in my own ability to get somewhere nor am I trusting in time to work in my favour, which leaves me trusting in the only one who knows what’s next for me: God.

It’s probably a good place to be because in my ‘not knowing’ I am left with no choice but to place my life in His hands. I have no clue what I’m stepping into so I’m thankful that I have someone walking alongside me. I am hoping that I learn how to live life without knowing in a way that is fulfilling and I am also hoping that as and when a little direction comes my way, I don’t forget how to take each step in faith.

Everything becomes familiar

In time, all things become familiar. What starts off as overwhelming, uncomfortable, confusing, unnerving or discombobulating eventually feels like routine. A new job, a new home, any kind of change – even a new kitchen! – takes time to adjust for me. That’s not to say it’s bad. It’s just new.

Since everything will at some point start to feel like the norm, I may as well embrace the slightly bewildering emotion of change – the feeling doesn’t last forever.

September reflections / October hopes

P1030510 (2)September was all about the kitchen really. And the arrival of Autumn. The kitchen was almost completely faff-free and we love the result. We’re even starting to cook together because we can stand side by side and chop/stir without treading on one another!

I don’t think September gave me much time to be still at all. We had wonderful friends who fed us almost every night so that we didn’t have to rely on takeaway whilst kitchen-less, but that did mean it was very busy and very extroverted. The introvert in me is crying out for a few days of nothing. Not quite sure October will offer that but I have a few hopes nonetheless.

>Reflections<

Don’t get too frustrated while the new kitchen is installed. This actually happened. I spent a lot of time preparing myself for the fact that the flat would be a mess and I wouldn’t be able to find anything for a few weeks and as a result, the whole situation felt fairly calm! We now have decorators in so the dust sheets haven’t been put away quite yet. A few more weeks and we’ll be there!

Spend less money. This pretty much happened. We didn’t go over budget, despite the kitchen and need for takeaways. I’d really like to continue this for a few months, especially in the run up to Christmas when I’m sure we’ll enjoy the freedom of spending a bit of money on lovely gifts for the people we love! (If you hate people talking about Christmas in October, perhaps just ignore that last sentence…)

Spend more time with family. Without even trying, this happened. I spent an evening curled up with my mum and sister watching the Great British Bake Off and I spent a very very wonderful weekend away with my sister and got to spend quality time with her – no distractions. The weekend actually happened at the beginning of October but seeing as I’m late in writing my reflections and hopes this month, it totally counts!

Spend less time watching TV. This hasn’t actually been too difficult as the television was under a dust sheet for most of the month! I added rugby to the list of OK television as it’s the Rugby World Cup and not watching rugby was just not going to happen!

>Hopes<

Go for Autumn walks in new places. The leaves are changing colour and I want to take in every crisp breath of this perfect season. I’d like to go for walks in new parks and places and make the most of being outdoors – even if it’s raining!

Get the flat painted (except maybe the bedrooms) and clean again! A month (ish) of dust sheets are taking their toll on our flat. I really want to get the decorating finished and give the whole flat a good clean to get rid of some of the dust. This would include steam cleaning the carpets, although that might be too ambitious…

Be in the moment for birthdays. One of my best friends turns 30 this month and it’s also my sister’s birthday. They both have things planned and I want to take those opportunities to forget the overwhelm of work/life and be present in those times with friends and family. I just want to relax and enjoy them for what they are, no more, no less.

That’s it for this month. I’m loving the darker evenings and cooler weather – the rain and wind give me the perfect excuse to enjoy indoor things alongside the joy of dusk air and beautiful crisp walks. I hope October will let me enjoy both.